I was contemplating my own state of imbalance when a thought struck: how do we handle our weaknesses? When is a weakness bad, and when is it good? How does a person differentiate between human weaknesses and human nature? Is there even a difference? Do we give in? Do we beat ourselves up over it? How do we get back up after beating ourselves up over it? Where’s the moderate path, please? Question after question after question, and I’m getting nowhere.
A mother’s weakness is her child. She exerts all her energies in raising the child, caring for him, worrying about him. Its the mercy that she feels which motivates her to do all that she does. She is constantly anxious about his well being and happiness. Isn’t this what a mother should be like, though?
Hold that thought, is this weakness now, or is it just her nature?
My mind was muddled so I directed my thoughts to Niqabinja.
She rushed, “Yeah, I’m weak, you’re weak, خُلِقَ الْإِنسَانُ ضَعِيفًا.”
Yes! That’s my answer, and she didn’t even have to complete her sentence. Two minds are better than one. (أحبك في الله)
The ayah just hit the nail on the head. I think I know where to go from here.
يُرِيدُ اللَّهُ أَن يُخَفِّفَ عَنكُمْ ۚ وَخُلِقَ الْإِنسَانُ ضَعِيفًا
And Allah wants to lighten for you [your difficulties]; and mankind was created weak. (Surah Al Nisaa’)
Perfect! His legislation and His prohibition are actually mercy and ease. He knows we are weak and feeble, therefore, He commanded us to do what is easy, without exceeding our boundaries.
So it is perfectly natural for a mother to be weak when it comes to her child. Its just love (which, I believe, is another dimension of human weakness). If, however, the weakness drives her to become so obsessive that she forgets to obey Allah, rather she disobeys Him to spoil her child, the weakness has become a calamity for her.
وَلَقَدْ عَهِدْنَا إِلَىٰ آدَمَ مِن قَبْلُ فَنَسِيَ وَلَمْ نَجِدْ لَهُ عَزْمًا
And We had already taken a promise from Adam before, but he forgot; and We found not in him determination. (Surah Taha)
Forgetfulness is part of human nature and its a weakness. Sometimes, though, it can be a blessing in that over time we may forget the psychological harm that a person had caused us, and we learn to forgive them. Therefore, forgetfulness helps forgiveness, and forgiveness is an essential part of healthy relationships. It makes the world go ’round.
وَكَانَ الْإِنسَانُ عَجُولًا
And man is ever hasty. (Surah Al Isra’a)
Haste is part of human nature and its a weakness. We may make hasty decisions that become the cause of regret. Sometimes, though, it can be a blessing if a person practices haste in doing good deeds and rushing towards goodness.
We are weakness upon weakness. Discontent, boastfulness, ingratitude, disbelief, oppression, impatience, miserliness, arrogance, heedlessness. The successful ones are those who will find a moderate way to deal with their weaknesses. Accept them and learn to deal with them. Exaggeration would be doing more than we can bear, negligence would be not trying enough, but moderation is the perfect path.
Abu Hurayrah narrated from the Messenger of Allah sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, “Religion is very easy and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extreme, but try to be near perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded. Gain strength by offering the prayers in the mornings, afternoons, and during the last hours of the night.” Sahih Bukhari
وَالَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا
And those who strive for Us – We will surely guide them to Our way. (Surah Al ‘Ankabut)
Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala loves patience, striving, justice, trust, repentance, purity, virtuousness, piety, kindness, humility, strength, forgiveness, love.
اللهم يا أمل اليائسين و يا أنيس المنفردين و يا حبيب المحبين و يا رجاء المنقطعين و يا جليس الذاكرين و يا من هو عند قلوب
المنكسرين و يا غياث المستغيثين
لن تطاع إلا بعلمك و لن تعصى إلا بعلمك تطاع فتشكر و تعصى فتغفر أقرب شهيد و أدنى حفيظ حلت بين النفوس و أخذت بالنواصي
و كتبت الآجال و نسخت الآثار
القلوب لك مفضية و السر عندك علانية
و الحلال ما أحللت و الحرام ما حرمت و الدين ما شرعت و الخلق خلقك و الأمر أمرك و العبد عبدك
أنت الغني و نحن الفقراء إليك لا إله إلا أنت سبحانك إنا كنا من الظالمين
يا من أظهر الجميل و ستر القبيح
يا من لا يأخذ بالجريرة و لم يهتك الستر يا باسط اليدين بالرحمة يا حسن التجاوز يا واسع المغفرة
اللهم استر عوراتنا و آمن روعاتنا
اللهم اعتق رقابنا من النار
-The Sahara Bloggers (Umm Saifullah)